if you don't like my fire, then don't come around

i shouldn't try to write at morning because nothing worries me in the morning. but it's only quiet in the morning. maybe if i was quiet more often, i wouldn't worry so much. that's something i might never know.

in bed at night when i should be reading but am not, i lament over the fact that no one in my family knows that i'm suspended today. or that if i'm disenrolled from this program it's because i disobeyed my Behavioral Contract, or because of my involvement in "the drinking party". nobody knows that my driving priviledges have been suspended indefinitely. they don't know about all the things i do "wrong"... and nobody -never mind my family- seems to know about any of the things i do right.

i looked at portland, oregon and charlottesville, virginia, on craigslist for apartments and jobs.

i really can't do this. i thought i could. write,
that is.

tonight. [i'm sorry]

'cuz i'm gonna burn one down.