Will write for food.

Craigslist.com says:
South Shore/MA
Full time content writer for developing original content for client websites, company web properties and newsletter, including technical writing. You will be producing ten 1000 word articles a week on varied topics.

Please respond with a 450 word sample "how to" article that has NOT been published, this must be fresh work so we can get an idea of your style. The article MUST include "how to" in the title, and be a short but descriptive and useful guide on how to do, well, anything! No topic is off limits, and creativity definitely counts. All samples will be checked for plagiarism.

So Stephanie says:
How To.
A Bullshitter’s Guide.

Don’t worry about books. Keep them around (of course), but don’t bother reading them. They can’t tell you anything you don’t know. Leave them stacked next to your bed for the cardigan-clad women you bring home for the night. Only read the back covers, and the author’s blurb. If you read the blurb, then when someone presents a discussion on the book you can mention something like “Oh, did you know that he actually wrote 5 children’s books before that?”. Everyone will think that you not Only read the book, but did follow-up research on the author. Then (and they won’t know this, because they are not as smart as you) the conversation will be shifted from a discussion of the book to a general talk on children’s books and the ‘Youth today in America’ and what do you have to say about that? Oh, all kinds of things. After all, you were a youth once… and there you have it. You’re suddenly at the cushy crème-filled center of a conversation that began with the “Unbearable Lightness of Being”. Crisis averted.
Never admit you are wrong. Practice saying things like “I appreciate your point, but” and “Well, sure, but have you ever stopped to consider…?”. Make “but” your most-used word. If you negate everything anyone says, eventually people will just agree with you because they are tired. Don’t get tired. You do not lose.
Make people feel like they’re stupid, and then tell them they’re not stupid. It’s really all a power-play. If you make them feel stupid, patting them on the head of their egos will be like giving a puppy a tummy rub. Neither one will remember you smacked them with a newspaper one minute before.
Confuse, confuse, confuse.
Commit to hypotheticals. That way, no one can ever say you Really said anything. You can get your point across and never be held responsible for anything you said.
Oh, there’s a really good one. Never take responsibility. Believe me. Somehow, everything is someone else’s fault. You crashed that car… but did You really crash that car? So simple? Of course not. The brakes were faulty. You were rushing, because That person is always nagging you. You’re PMS-ing. There was a bunny. Post-Traumatic Stress. Someone moved that pole during the night.
Absolutely condescend. This goes back to those nagging, unavoidable literary conversations. Eventually that one guy who brought up the book in the first place is going to realize that the conversation has transformed into some strange form of charades mixed with Never-Have-I-Ever and that you’re standing a whole lot closer to the girl he was trying to impress in the first place. When he tries to bring the discussion back to the book, simply brush his attempts aside with a sweeping remark like “Oh come on now, Mark, we’re all so tired of that… this is a party!” or “Hey Mark, never have I ever been in school right now”. He’ll feel like an ass, she’ll laugh, and you’ll take her and her cardigan to bed.
Never ever admit you don’t know how to do anything. Of course you know.
Always, always keep the heat off you. It’s a matter of distraction. It’s having a “Hey, look over there!” for every time you’ve got to stuff the bunny in your top hat or slip out the “door”. Bullshit is the Twix of life. Need a minute? Bullshit. It’s mental sleight of hand.




I hope I get it! Haha
Massachusetts here I come...?
Right back where I started from.